Election Fallout

*This is a work of satire*

Yezen Saadah, Staff Writer

Uh-oh Spaghetti-Os, did someone say fraud? We are in a sea of distraught and fragility in the world, making it the perfect time for a presidential election! This particular brawl was followed by two candidates“Sleepy Joe” and “Dubious Donald”both of whom aim to “fix” this perfect land we call a country! The nation has been through a lot these past few monthsglobal pandemics, social injustices, TikTok almost getting banned, movies being delayed, and Cancel Culture; however, this year’s presidential election proved to annihilate all of the soy controversies spurring in 2020. 

With a total of 290 electoral votes, critically acclaimed actor, Joe Biden, is set to become the 46th president of the United States of America. Despite Sleepy Joe’s win, Emmy nominated producer, Donald Trump, has yet to concede the election, claiming that, “The 70 million votes for Biden came from Democrats, people. Democrats.”

On Friday, November 13th, Trump spoke publicly for the first time since the election. When asked about the results, Trump wittily responded with the following: “We’ll see. Time will tell.” Trump further elaborates suggesting that he would’ve won by a landslide; he does have a point. Well, let’s look at it this way: if no one voted for Joe Biden, Trump would’ve won! Biden didn’t win the election, Trump just lost. 

Another milestone in U.S. history also took place following the election: Kamala Harris has become the first female, Black, and South Asian vice president-elect of the United States. Trump’s presidency had begun and ended with a Black woman in the White House; this is an obvious sign from the spirits as it represents the poetic irony of life, death, and what it means to overcome your fears. 

After winning the electionor so they saySleepy Joe addressed the nation. In his speech, Biden reassured the Republican party of his presidency, stating: “I just hope that we all remain united during these ‘peaceful times.’” What a man! What a show! 

Even after the election, the country still remains as divided as it was prior; however, this isn’t the first time we’ve faced such divisiveness of this magnitude. Whether you want to believe it or not, we have been in this situation before. There was Lincoln v Douglass, Burr v Jefferson, Adams v Jackson, and Batman v Superman. So why is this year any different? 

We are in the middle of a pandemic and the two major parties still can’t play nice with each other,” said AP U.S. Government teacher Torie York.

As Trump cleverly said during his  November 13th address, only time will tell with this election. A lot can happen during the months leading to Sleepy Joe’s inauguration. Trump already hired a new Secretary of State just two weeks ago. WHAT’S HE UP TO…? We’ll find out next time on the final season of 2020: The Year of Reckoning! Stay tuned!